Crafts - Salt Dough Christmas Tree Decorations

The Bairn is 13 months old. I have come to discover that this is NOT an optimal age for attempting to make beautiful, rustic, sentimental type craft-stuffs. It is, in fact, pure folly to suggest such a thing is possible. But YOU CAN start off enthusiastically, involve your own Bairn (to some extent), and come up with something you wouldn't be too ashamed to pass onto The Grannies at Chrimbo. Lets face it - they love anything your wee cherub has had a hand in, and are largely likely to be what we in The Trade call "presbyopic". They need reading specs to see close up, so just make sure the afore-mentioned specs are not to hand on presenting your gift to your mum/dad/in laws/out laws. Unless you're as awesome as me, and have AGAINST ALL ODDS co-produced (with my artisan protégée) some truly impeccable works of absolute art. *Not necessarily a fact.*

Ingredients

1/2 cup table salt

1/2 cup water

1 cup of plain flour

1. Mix together ingredients in a bowl until combined. Knead well, adding extra flour if it's getting a bit icky.

2. Leave dough to rest for about 20 minutes.

3. Take your lump and roll it flat (about 5-8mm thick) onto a floured flat surface.

4. Make some shapes! We used some funky Ikea woodland animal cookie cutters, but the world's your oyster. Or your cookie cutter collection is. Or go crazy with some freehand cutting action! Don't forget to make a hole for the ribbon to go through. We used an icing nozzle - it was perfect.

Elk + imagination = Rudolph

5. Here's the tricky bit (with a child placed at the table around snack time, not a great idea, I concede) persuade your little helper to squash a handprint on your shapes for an extra personal touch. Those Grannies will love it! Tip for you though - extra help squashing those wee handies down will give deeper, more "hand-printy" results after baking. This is the step we had a minor disagreement about, a disgruntled apprentice resulting in some collateral damage.

"Loving it, loving it... HATE IT MUM! TAKE IT AWAY!"

6. Lay all your beasties onto baking trays lined with grease-proof paper.

7. Bake in an oven for aaaaaages. About 110 degrees Celsius for a few hours will do it. Obviously, you'll want to keep checking every half an hour or so. They need to be hard, but not brown. I light golden colour is best. (I tried a tip from some website - microwave for 5 minutes to start it off. DON'T! Mine ended up a bit puffy, still soft - and I blame the microwave.) Alternatively, leave to air dry for a few days. Aye, right! As if you can wait that long!

8. Once your delectable creations have cooled down, paint them! The Bairn attempted his own brushwork here (yes I really am that stupid), and I think you may be able to spot which of the festive furry friends is his.

You may spot The Bairn's impression of Roadkill.

For painting, I used a mixture of pearlescent, metallic and bright acrylic paints. That's because I have them in the house anyway - I suspect PAINTS ARE NOT TO BE EATEN BY WEE ONES. So a close eye was kept on Cheeky Chops, and he was only given a cheapo water-based paint I picked up especially for him.

I've varnished mine too - and when I get a minute might just paint the back with a message of "To Granny _" A, B or C (yes, we have 3 Grannies) and "From The Bairn"

Cute though eh? Have fun!

 

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Family Food - Mackerel Pâté

Pretty recently, we had our 13 month check-up at home with our (quite frankly, terrific) Heath Visiting Team nurse. She is simply one of the nicest ladies I've met. She's helpful, never patronising, always supportive and makes me feel (for the wee while she's in my living room) like I maybe DO KNOW WHAT I'M DOING! Then of course The Bairn and I wave at her from the front door (as usual, The Bairn's wave follows around 3 minutes after the departing person has disappeared from view) and the old familiar feeling of self-doubt creep in. When she's here, handing me leaflets about nutrition and easy family cooking, I'm all....

"Yeah, actually I have a blog all about this kind of stuff, so I TOTALLY know all about it. I'm pretty much a younger, poorer Annabel Karmel/Nigella/Martha Stewart combo. Amazing really. We're all about oily fish, leafy greens, homemade rice-cakes and vitamin D in this household."

Then I'm like (inside my own tiny cranium).....

"Oily fish? Oily fish? Iron? Vitamin supplements? The Bairn only likes Philadelphia sandwiches! Ohmygod I am a MONSTER."

Thus, today's recipe is all about panic purchasing of stuff that's GREAT FOR YOU, and you should be eating all the time! Also, it was absolutely bloody lovely, if I say so myself. I do, and I just did.

Ingredients

250g of smoked mackerel

100g full fat soft cheese

A cube of frozen spinach - defrosted (or fresh - washed and wilted/blanched)

Black pepper

1. Take the skin off your fillets, then take out ALL of the bones. It's a painstaking process and I STILL stink of fish. That is a fact. Maybe your friendly neighbourhood fishmonger could do it for you?
2. Chuck the fish chunks in a food processor with the Philadelphia and spinach and pepper.
3. Blitz.
4. This is a bit cheeky isn't it?! Can you even call a recipe this short a recipe? Or just an instruction?

Here's a tip for you. Mackerel is sooooo oily, it makes everything it touches REEK. Best way to get rid of the smell from inside the blender is to wash it first with hot soapy water (as you'd expect), but afterwards rinse with very cold soapy water. It really works! I promise!

Nutritionally, this pâté is great for omega 3 and 6 fatty acids, as well as iron and calcium

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Family Food - Enchiladas

I'm soooo extremely tired. The Bairn has been poorly, and also has another tooth on its way. The only thing he wants to eat is yoghurt - regardless of what lovely homemade dishes I present before him. The result being that I'm making several different dishes at each meal in the hope he'll actually eat something. It's so awful when our babies are unwell, isn't it? Feeling so helpless. All I want is for him to be his usual cheeky, perma-hungry, cat-chasing self...

So on that depressing note, here's a recipe for enchiladas. I imagine it has absolutely no resemblance to the actual enchiladas you would find in actual Mexico, but bugger it. It's delicious and cheered up our little family tonight! The Bairn did not find it to be agreeable; instead consumed 3 spoonfuls of Weetabix, a raspberry yogurt and a cup of (very weak) Ovaltine.

Ingredients

2 chicken breasts diced
Onion diced
Clove of garlic crushed
A pepper diced
6 baby corns chopped
Handful of green beans chopped
Tin of chopped tomatoes
2 teaspoons paprika
1 teaspoon chilli powder
1/4 teaspoon ground ginger
Black pepper

6 flour tortillas

Grated cheddar
(for kids over one, pinch of salt if you want it, and a generous pinch of caster sugar.)

PHOTOS BELOW, CHAPS!

1. Pan fry the chicken until sealed
2. Add onion and garlic, stir fry until onions are soft
3. Add paprika, chilli, ginger and pepper - fry for a few minutes
4. Add peppers, baby corn and green beans, stir fry for few more minutes
5. Add chopped tomatoes, simmer for 10 minutes - cover if your pan allows it - then stir in salt and sugar if using (not essential) heat oven to 180 degrees Celsius
6. Arrange tortillas in a dish as shown below
7. Spoon chicken/veg into each tortilla "shell", then fold tortilla over the top
8. Ladle remaining sauce over the top (thin it with water if you've little left, or it's all congealed)
9. Cover with cheese
10. Bake in oven for 20 minutes - should be golden, and smell AMAZING

 

 

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Topic 2. Arts and Crafts - A New Project!

It's been soooo so long since I've painted anything. Only two short years ago, I had aspirations of changing my career and becoming a professional illustrator. Aye, right! Unlikely! A sharp decrease in stress levels as I embarked upon my illustration "career" at college (saying a cheeky "smell ya later, bitch" to optometry - except on Saturdays) resulted in the unexpected conception of The Bairn, or Pip as he was then known. We'd been on the waiting list for IVF (a 22 month marathon in our health board area), and therefore absolutely amazed and delighted that this amazing, pip-sized little smidge had decided to take up residence in my uterus. Especially considering I had seemed uninhabitable to previous prospective tenants.

My new career became Mum, followed by Mum/optometrist (see, I did smell you later, optometry - and you smell exactly the same as you did before. Musty, with the occasional ammonia tinge of cyclopentolate).

I've seen a few things lately that made me think "Come on wummin! Get yer brushes oot, pencils sharpened and pinny on! You could be painting/drawing etc, instead of watching another episode of Dexter/Castle/Modern Family, you lazy little b*do." A couple of days ago though, I was feeling really miserable, and decided to drag the wee man out for a walk in the extremely cold Scottish sunshine. We took a saunter along the canal, which was so still every autumnal shade was reflected in it like a mirror. The fallen leaves were rustling under the buggy wheels, opulent green Mallards were quacking as they glided along the water and The Bairn was treated to his first field full of PROPER cattle, the black and white ones like his own stuffed toy. (Which, by the way, scares the living crap out of him when you squeeze it and it moos.)

Forth and Clyde Canal

So here's a beautiful photo I took with my mobile. How can anyone have an off-day with that on their doorstep? And today I TOOK ACTION. I went onto www.discountart.co.uk and bought 4 canvases, a few huge tubs of acrylic paint and some varnish. All thanks to PayPal, which is responsible for my first pay cheque from my proper job having practically disappeared 2 weeks into the month.

I'm going to do a split canvas for the wall above the fire in the living room.

As a split canvas photo print in this size was priced at £150.... Think I'll have a crack at it myself, lads.

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